“No” is such an easy word to say, especially when it’s being said to your kids. It wasn’t until recently I realized just how often I say it. Life with a rambunctious 4 year old and a curious 11 month old made “no” my automatic response to everyday questions and situations. Sigh. When did I become that mommy?
The other day I was in my usual “stop that-don’t do that-no you cannot have that” mode when my oldest son said something that stopped me in my tracks – “Mommy, why don’t you listen to me? Why don’t you hear me?” His two innocent questions was like a punch to the stomach. In my quest to positively parent, I’d forgotten one of the most important lessons – to have the best relationship with my children, I have to trust them, and constantly telling them “no” undermines that trust. Providing options instead of instantly vetoing their suggestions/requests allows them to feel heard. Why not give them an empowered “yes” instead of an easy “no?”
Because it’s not easy for meeeeeee, that’s why!
The fact is that saying “yes” is going to require more time, patience, and frankly, thinking on my part, all of which are scare these days. But, I have to do it. So, to the internet I went and found a few really helpful articles to assist in my efforts –
How to Easily Say “Yes” To Your Kids (I really like this one!)
While I know that becoming a “yes mommy” will take some, well A LOT, of practice – and possibly wine 🙂 – I know it’s well worth the effort.