Why We Should Mind Our Own Business

Humans are built to connect. We’re wired to care for and about each other. We’re meant to be part of a larger community that helps everyone within it live better; it’s what the universe intended. Where I believe we can go wrong is when we overextend our natural capacity to help and cross the line into “none of my business land.” Don’t get me wrong, the lines can be blurry. I’m just as guilty of blasting past the boundaries of my business vs. someone else’s business. So, when I find myself taking an ill-advised trip out of my space and into another’s, I stop and ask myself questions, such as:

Will the outcome of what’s happening affect me?

Ultimately, am I responsible for this person’s wellbeing?

What happens if I do/say nothing?

Does this person want an answer or for me to just listen?

What, if anything, can I control in this experience?

When I ask myself these types of questions, I’m normally able to hang back and let the scenario play out. And, quite honestly, most people don’t want our opinions anyway. They just want to be heard. So, I’ve tried my best to become a better listener, which quells my yearning to jump into another’s glass case of emotions. Besides, I know I have lots of do in terms of bettering myself, which doesn’t leave much time for telling others what to do. There’s a difference between sharing your experience and pushing your opinion onto another, no?

Today, we are able to know more about each other than ever before. Overall, I believe that’s a good thing however it can also be a distraction from our own lives, and that’s not always a good thing. Let’s all make sure our home (our physical and mental space) is in order before moving into someone else’s. We owe it to each other and to ourselves.

 

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2 Replies to “Why We Should Mind Our Own Business”

  1. What a great post. I was really struggling with this very thing in one of my closest relationships. My friend is going through a tough time in her life and I wonder if I should have said more, given more suggestions. I felt a bit guilty about “minding my own business”. Is that showing real love and concern? But I did go through all those questions you asked and I settled it in myself that what she really needs is not advice (she’s never asked) but a listening ear. And I can do that. And yes, I have quite a lot of my own business going on. LoL.

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    1. I think we can simultaneously show love and concern, and keep our opinion to ourselves. It takes practice, but it can be done. I try to ask questions like, “So, what do you think you should do?” or “So, how does that make you feel?” or “This is what I’m hearing you say…” I’m still engaged in the conversation without giving my two cents. The better listener I become, with boundaries in place I should add, the better friend I can be. There’s definitely an art to it. 😉 Thanks for commenting!

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