Yesterday was tough. My feelings of frustration and exhaustion came to a head and I found myself yelling at my kids like never before. I yelled until my throat was sore and was left with a headache that lasted two hours. The grind of working full-time, taking over duties that my husband would normally be doing (he just had surgery), and doing my usual family management activities, oh, and don’t forget homeschooling, had taken their toll. And yesterday was my rock bottom.
Then, this morning, I wake up and see this: I Think I Know Why You’re Yelling
I think, “You know why I’m yelling? Do tell because I sure as hell can’t figure it out.”
Tears came to my eyes as I read the article. It was like it was written with me in mind. Every single point resonated me. But, I am the co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, positive parenting, “crunchy” mama who believes that children should be respected as the people they are and that gentle discipline is natural and should be easy to do. To an extent, I still believe all that, but now I can see where my execution went awry. What it boils down to is that I haven’t set clear boundaries between myself and my kids. That should have been obvious, right? Unfortunately, that never dawned on me, until yesterday, that is. I’d been so busy trying to set boundaries between them and their world that I forgot that the most important way to teach boundaries is to lead by example. Just to show you an example of my complete naiveté to just how important using boundaries as a method of self-care is, my idea of taking time for myself had been going on errands alone. SMH. This parenting thing will break you open and force you to grow, won’t it?
So, now that I know where my problems lie, I can devise appropriate solutions. I need it. My children need it. It’s time to restore the happy, peaceful home we once had. A loving home can have firm boundaries, and we’re going to make that happen.