I was talking to a neighbor yesterday who said that she knows our boys will grow up to be great men and, at that time, I will say, “I did that.” I thanked her, but felt uneasy. I don’t often think about the type of men my suns will be, but when called to do so I never think about their success (whatever that may look like for them) being because of me (and their dad). I think this is where parenting goes awry. Whether my suns succeed or fail, I am simply there as a constant presence to help however I can. Naturally, I want them to do well as boys and as men, but, in the end, that’s on them. We will provide the best environment, upbringing, and opportunities to thrive as they enter into manhood however I have removed my attachment to the outcome of their lives. How their lives turn out, in greatness or mediocrity, is ultimately up to them.
Don’t get me wrong. I get where my neighbor was coming from, and I am humbled that she thinks so highly of my children at the tender ages of two and six. However I won’t allow myself to believe that my parenting reach extends beyond the parameters of where it should. I know my role in this parenting journey and gladly accepted it, and while I understand how impactful it is, I want my boys to continue to own their lives, however they turn out. That’s how life should be, and when they do leave the nest with belief in their capabilities and their truths, I will gladly say, “I did that.” because instilling those tenets, and other knowledge of self tenets, is in my control. Then, I will know that I did my job as their mother. But, for now, I’m working on it, day by day, just enjoying them and this journey.