Being a mother has always been on my list of things to do in life. I never thought I’d get married, although I’m so glad I did, but being a mother was one thing that I knew I would do. And I knew that I would be awesome at it. Maybe that’s my leo pride talking, but, as a child who viewed life with long-term lenses, that was going to be my truth. Fast forward 20 years or so and I’d have to say that awesome I am not, but I’m working on it. That’s no slight to myself, it’s just my review of my almost seven years of mamahood. It doesn’t matter how much someone tells you or how much you believe you have it together, being a parent, especially a mother, is tough. Anyone who has done it will attest to that. You hope to have more good days than bad, but, in the end, you hope to have done your best.
Today, I read this article and all of these thoughts about my motherhood journey so far bubbled up. Please take a moment to read the article before you continue reading here.
Now, I don’t know about you, but the writer’s tone got to me. While I don’t want to negate her feelings, I also don’t want to encourage them either. Motherhood is hard. Heck, being a responsible, functional adult is hard. No one who’s in either (or both) role(s) will dispute that fact. However, to this mama and any others who feel like her (I’m about to go all Shonda Rhimes’ main character via any show she’s done),
“You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to fall apart. If you need to cry, scream, kick something, have a drink, or punch something, you do that and then you get yourself together and go and live your life. You don’t get to fall apart and stay that way. That’s not ok. Now, fix your face and get your ass back out there.”
Being a mother (or father) isn’t easy, but as parents, it’s not right for any of us to put all of our business on the internet just hoping for others to join the pity party. It’s not good for us, and especially not for our children – hello! If help is needed, get it. If a good venting session is required, talk to a trusted friend or see a therapist. We all feel overwhelmed at times, but if it’s a constant struggle to accept life as it is, especially the role as mom or dad, then it’s not enough to own that, help must be sought because there is something deeper going on.
It sounds cliche, but parenting is really a gift. It offers the opportunity for our rebirth. Our children are mirrors that show us the things that need a-healin’, as well as give us glimpses into our future selves. Parenting should be hard because anything that’s worth it will challenge us in ways we’d never anticipate. But, we will get through it. We will grow from it. We will be harder, tougher, faster, stronger. *in my Kanye voice* We have to believe that. Have faith, and the occasional meltdown if need be, then parent on.