Getting Out of My Children’s Way

Just me and the boys
Just me and the boys

I remember what it’s like to be a kid. At around the age of 11, I promised myself that I would always remember what being a kid felt like, and that once I had my own, I’d be a mom who had fun with, respected and listened to my kids. I would be their friend. At 34 I still have those feelings. However now, as a mom, it’s been difficult to bridge the gap between being that mom and one who can still be an effective guide for my children. I find myself swaying to either extreme, grasping at any content I can read, watch or otherwise absorb to help me find middle ground. It’s been challenging to say the least.

My saving grace has been my children’s unconditional love and forgiveness as I evolve into being their mom. Despite my good and bad days, which often feel like a minute-to-minute experience, I keep trying, and I think they see that. I recognize my role as their mother and do my best to practice what my 11-year old self knew inheriently. My children are not mine to control, manipulate, mold or raise. I am their guide, and they are my greatest teachers. The trick is to allow this truth to become reality. I’m working on it. I’ve started to see where I miss the mark and I try to make adjustments as I go. This thing will work; it’s only a matter of time. Until then though, I’ll take advantage of the few opportunities I find to let them just be and evolve on their own accord. Isn’t that what all of us want anyway?

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